cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
