Me. At least after what I've been through.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
