I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
