Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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