We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
