Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
