i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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