I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
