Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
