that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
