He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
