Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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