You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
