haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
