Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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