we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
