forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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