C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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