I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
