I think im going to throw up on grandma
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
