Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
