It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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