I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
