I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
