I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
