Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
