I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
