Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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