You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
