Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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