weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
