We're facebook friends in real life
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
