it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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