Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
