I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Four minutes until I can fart!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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