i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
