So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Boobs speak an international language.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
