If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
