Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
