no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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