new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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