David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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