Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
They have beer where we have blood.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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