Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
