Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
