well I can't set my house on fire every night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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