this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't deserve a penis
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
