I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
