Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
