I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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