Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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