Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
