And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
