But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I party with great urgency now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
